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Top 10 Arguments in a relationship
(and how to stop them)

April 30th, 2020

There are a lot of articles floating around the internet with titles such as ‘how to have the perfect relationship’ and we have to wonder if these have they been written by a character from a film where everything is perfect and the are no argument. Almost every couple will eventually come across topics or circumstances that will lead to a disagreement and although nobody actively likes arguing, it’s an almost inevitable aspect of being in a relationship. So, we list the 10 popular reasons that couples argue.

Bills

Couples often argue what they “should” be spending money and what they would “like” to spend it on, or one might be a saver compared to the others spend spend spend mentality there a lots of arguments couples can have about money.

Monthly bills can add up and unless you change tariffs, policies or contracts every year you could be overpaying by £600 a year and can cause different arguments down the line. Unfortunately, in this world, being a loyal customer doesn’t reward you any more as most companies give their best deals for new customers.

Energy companies will move you on to a standard tariff after the initial 12 to 24 month contract so you are paying on average £263 for exactly the same gas and electricity, but in 5 minutes to switch your energy contact and save this money. It is the same with your car insurance, around a third of people just let their car insurance auto renew and could be paying £200 more, again this an easy way to save £200

The biggest saving can come from what is likely to be the biggest purchase you made – your house. If you have come to the end of your fixed deal with your mortgage provider then the interest that you pay can almost double meaning you are paying £1000’s extra a year (and £10,000’s over the mortgage duration), switching your mortgage is so easy now and a qualified advisor can help you every step of the way. It doesn’t cost you anything to see what you can save on your mortgage and it could make the home a happier place to live.

What to watch on TV

Do we have too much choice? With so many TV channels and endless boxsets on streaming services it almost takes as long to decide what to watch as it does to actually watch it.

Although traditional favourites like soaps and sitcoms aren’t everybody’s cup of tea couples have (sometimes reluctantly) agreed to watch what the other wants. Is it a trade off in your relationship for the TV remote? Reports have suggested that sport fans are more likely to give up the remote during the week in return for the choosing power at weekends when most games are shown.

Streaming services have caused more arguments too as the choice has significantly increased and you don’t have the time to search through everything so you have to ask the dreaded question to a friend – “what boxset are you watching?” This can either unlock a gem of a programme or lose 15 minutes of your life as they tell you in intricate detail the show they are watching that you have zero interest in.

Do you constantly say that you are paying a fortune and there is nothing on? Perhaps changing your TV package could help the evenings be more harmonious by adding or removing the sport channels or adding movies to your package and have an at home movie date night

Heating temperature

There are 2 times in the year where a lot of disagreements happen. When to turn on the heating for the winter and when to turn it off for the summer, this is a problem in so many households and then when the heating is on, how high should the thermostat be? There always seems to be one person in the relationship that can not warm up so the heating is always on and the temperature sneaks up, now we can control it on our phones it means you can be subtle when you change it and hope the other doesn’t notice.

According to some couples, one of the reasons for the arguments is that the person who is cold could put on a jumper to warm up instead of putting the heating on, the other reason for the argument is the cost of heating the house. This part of the argument can be eased a little by switching to a cheaper energy tariff, by doing this you can lower your energy bill by up to £505 a year which makes having the heating on easier to tolerate. Government research has shown 15 million households are over paying for their heating, it takes less than 5 minutes to switch so that is an easy way to stop an argument.

Household chores

Ah, the ‘who does more around the house’ argument. This one likely comes as no surprise because one person almost always feels as though they are shouldering more of the household chores than their partner. One person might view always needing to take the bins out as a constant source of irritation, especially if the other person seemingly manages to find increasingly creative ways to stuff even more rubbish into the bin to avoid emptying it.

It’s also normal for each person to have differing opinions as to what counts as being ‘clean’. One person might not bat an eyelid at there being a couple of dirty plates in the sink, but this might be more of a big deal to the other person, particularly if ‘a few plates’ have a tendency to seemingly multiply in the night to the point where you’re both left questioning, ‘seriously though, how do we have so many plates?!’ or ‘OK but have you actually been raiding the kitchen in your sleep?!’

It’s always a good idea to have the household chore conversation regularly to make sure that one person doesn’t feel put upon by the other. You might find that dividing the chores equally into designated tasks for each of you works best, but devising a cleaning rota can be more effective for couples who both hate the same chores in equal measure.

Moving home

There are plenty of things that are discussed before actually moving such as when to move, where to move to, what are the must haves for the new property and does it have ‘curb appeal’

When these have been sorted there are so many things to plan and organise, moving to a new home is always a stressful experience. Although also an exciting time, it is impossible to ignore the fact that during particularly stressful life events, it can be easy to take out any frustrations or worries on those closest to us. There are some pretty dramatic statistics floating around online that suggest as many as one in 10 couples split up after a house move and as many as 65% experience issues in their relationship that a move brings to the surface.

From couples who have just moved in together needing to adjust to the other person’s quirks and habits to long-term couples disagreeing over where to live or how much of their joint monthly income they want to spend on rent or a mortgage, moving can present a lot of points of contention that will require some honest and open channels of communication to work through.

Whether you’re ready to move up the property ladder or simply want to gain a more substantial understanding of the next move you and your partner could make, comparing mortgage rates together is always an excellent place to begin your moving journey.

Screen time

In today’s world where phones are so addictive and we are constantly checking them for updates on sport, news and social media or playing online games we are often not fully listening to what our partner is saying.

Couples now a days complain that they using their phones during meals, whilst watching TV or in bed.

Experts recommend having set times where phones are not allowed, especially during meals so you can give each other your full attention, if you wanted to take a picture of your food, do this but then put your phone away so you are not tempted to look at it.

If screen time isn’t an issue for you or you want to update your social media of pictures of each other, are you on the best phone deal and do you have enough data? You can see the best offers and the phones with the best camera here.

Night’s out

Setting aside time to spend with your friends is an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship. But when casual evenings consistently develop into full-blown nights out involving getting home at 3am, this can become a source of tension for the person at home waiting for their partner.

If a spur of the moment night out is presented to you, it’s always a good idea to double check the joint calendar to ensure you won’t be missing any important events or accidentally forget to do the thing you promised you would do a week ago and purposefully set aside time to actually complete. You don’t have to create a Pinterest-worthy calendar for the kitchen; a google doc or shared calendar on your phone can be all it takes to ensure you aren’t double booking yourself.

The reality is that sometimes plans change and keeping your partner informed with a quick text or a phone call will help you to avoid an argument spilling over into the next day, which you will definitely want to avoid if you’re feeling a little worse for wear after finally rolling in during the wee hours of the morning.

Who is ‘the better driver?’

Has this argument existed since cars were invented? Yes. Should you have this argument with the person you love most in life? No. But are you going to have this argument anyway? Probably. At least once, sorry.

But look, whether you find yourselves bickering over what exactly constitutes a ‘good driver’ or spend some time on Google digging out statistics from the latest study (of which there have been many), provided that neither of you takes this argument too seriously you’re sure to laugh about it one day. The most common factor in a couple determining the winner is who has the highest number of years no claims bonus or how much you pay for your insurance, the later part of the argument may null and void if you don’t always compare car insurance prices because loyalty certainly doesn’t pay. Most people can save £200 on their renewal price. Then just one more question to ask each other, who can park better?

Whose family to spend Christmas with

It is not at all unusual for parents to play a fairly large role in the relationship. Everything from meeting your partner’s parents for the first time to deciding who you will spend the important time of year with can become a highly emotive issues that lead to significant disagreements that need to be worked through with care and love.

One person may feel as though their partner is constantly taking their parent’s side and this can become a lingering tension that leads to larger issues. It’s important to remember that there will always be ways to work through these issues, just remember to be patient with each other and try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective and make sure that things are fair in terms of rotation

Holiday destination

You’ve worked hard all year and it’s time to choose your next holiday destination. Although this might sound like an exciting and relatively straightforward task, there’s no denying that planning a holiday can difficult. From arranging travel arrangements to simply deciding on a destination that you both want to visit, the list of things you will have to do before you even think of packing up your car or setting foot on a plane is going to be extensive.

Setting a budget and figuring out how much spending money you’re going to take with you can also become a source of tension, particularly if one person is naturally more of a spender and wants to splash out to make this holiday extra special. Comparing credit card deals can throw up a variety of perks that you could capitalise on to book the holiday you both really want. From great deals on balance transfers to cashback and other rewards, finding the right card for you can unlock myriad possibilities and provide you with the opportunity to make memories that will last a lifetime in your dream holiday destination. You can also get fee free credit cards for overseas use to add some security for any purchases and the take away the need for taking large sums of cash with you

As we mentioned at the start, no one actively enjoys arguing with their significant other and it’s entirely normal to experience some level of concern regarding some of the things in life you might encounter together that you will disagree on. The fact remains, however, that most arguments won’t turn out to be relationship deal-breakers and with a bit of communication and patience, you’ll find effective ways to work through things together. You’re a team. And really, that’s what a healthy relationship is all about. So, go forth and disagree. And then make up.

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